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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Happiness is your Choice-Part2

This New Year I just thought will start my first post discussing about one thing which everyone wants and that is Happiness!

This post is in continual to my old post Happiness is your choice. How much ever we discuss about happiness it cannot be spoon feeded. It is like this, you try teaching a kid not to touch a hot iron plate, but still they will try touching it until they experience it by touching the hot plate. Similarly, happiness shall need to be experienced within you rather than forced upon yourself. One needs to embrace it and experience it day-in and day-out.

Having said this, below is a list of few (many more can be added to this list) common circumstances /events which might make us feel down or unhappy unless and otherwise if we could not get the hold of those.

Unique as ‘U’
Every individual is unique and that is the nature. This is easy to view, but hard to practice. The acceptance of this principle requires an individual’s one hundred percentage commitment and hard work!

I like Blue, so my friends should too…
I love pets, so my spouse shall too…
I love travelling, so my family too…
I keep my TV volume high to enjoy favorite music, so my neighbors too…
These lists can keep growing and endless too! Instead of looking at the indifferences you share, try start appreciating and accepting your partner’s or friends or family members as they are. Love them for what they are, instead of what you want them to be! This will definitely keep your head up and cool.  
Try embracing the difference and nurture your happiness!
Apple to Orange! Orange to Apple! Apple to Apple and so on...
Are you able to hear the below lines aloud in your ears from a loud speaker?
Your Cousin scored centum in math, but you did not.
He owns BMW latest model, but I own only Ford.
He has 2 row houses with posh garden, but I own none.
My colleague travelled to USA for a business trip, but I was not selected.
She got 55% hike during appraisal, but I did receive only 27%
Why comparison? Love and comparison is like 2 sides of a sharp pencil. While love sweetens our life, comparisons mix bitter to it. Try accepting yourself as you are, have belief in your own abilities, strengths and likings. Rather than comparing, perform little introspection within you and work towards self-improvement.
Stop comparing to sow the seeds of happiness within yourself.

Small things matter
Vilfredo Pareto's Pareto principle states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. Let’s look at couple of example which is quite common. (Sometimes it might look simple and joking too!)

‘Wanting to go home early to play with your new born child, you start early from the office that day evening. Just before 3miles to your home, you got stuck in traffic jam! By the time you reach home, your child is asleep. The next day in a local newspaper you read the reason for last night traffic jam being, because of a road side seller’s attempt to cross the wrong signal! Sounds silly and familiar!
Yes, 80% of the time we stuck in traffic signal because of 20% of people poor driving skills.
Similarly, in our life, small things add to big events.
Few other examples, when you commit to your family to Alice and Wonderland move this weekend, then, "Make it, do not break it.”  When your better-half proposes a date this Anniversary then let being 5th Anniversary be not the reason to avoid it! Give her your time; after all she is your love! Make It! "Take charge and Take Control" and happiness will follow.
Take care of small things, to cure yourself!
Encourage family culture
Phone calls have been replaced with short SMS. Electronic mails have replaced traditional mails! I still remember writing to my cousins using a post card during my school vacation holidays! Where are those cultures now? Social networking has replaced face-to-face family networking! Technology provided solutions to human problem which is great! But, in turn, we took over advantage of the technology and started creating problems with the solutions!

Develop a good culture within your family. Meet your lovable Parent’s at least once in 3months. Participate in family functions and spend some time with your friends (remember those college days!). If possible, try creating album of your life events. I personally started doing this whenever possible.  Looking at those albums will heal your inner-self and bring happiness. Perhaps at times it might look funny to look these albums and teach yourself that you crossed so many milestones in your life!

Above all, I strongly recommend you to connect with the elderly persons in your family, like Granny! How many of us do this? Many ignore them, just because they have become older! Spend some time with them. If can't meet, call them. They are Gems in our life and are the one from whom we learnt about bedtime stories! After all, they are the ones who cared for you when you are young even more than your parents! Teach your son and daughter their importance.
Start committing a healthy family culture to spread wings of happiness.
Fake it to make it
I read a saying, "Fake it, to make it." Sometimes, when you feel low, unhappy and pulling down, try to fake it. It might sound fuzzy! But, from my own experience I myself applied this and it works. Few times, when I used to feel low, I look at my face in front of a mirror or say to myself, ‘Be happy! Be Happy!’ I fake my face to smile! This could help your brain cells get some spontaneous trigger and bring back your energy. Remember, only you can do that and not someone else on behalf of you!
Happiness can't be given! It's intangible. Fake it to make it.

As the saying goes,
“Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul.”

In this New Year, let’s try making a resolution which will help binding together all our ray of hope and dreams come true by understanding that;

‘Happiness is Your Own Choice’!
Jai Hind!

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